Over the past few years, however, the weight has been inching back on. I find that I lack the willpower to consume only healthy, non-fattening foods and to force myself to exercise daily as I used to do.
I watch with a growing sense of disempowerment as my waist size steadily expands and my favourite clothing no longer fits well.
You may be wondering why I’m talking about diet and fitness in a teaching blog.
It’s because I can feel myself slipping again, but in another way—this time it’s about education, as I pursue my Masters of Adult Education through St. Francis Xavier University in Antigonish, Nova Scotia.
I returned Wednesday from three weeks of deep self-reflection, intense classroom lessons, and self-regimented theoretical study at the program’s Foundations Institute. Since the Masters is a self-directed one, we all know it’s going to be a tough few years as we maintain the constant discipline required to complete the program. Also, I borrowed four books from the university library that I must return in two weeks. Those are two reasons why I need to get reading right away.
I’ve ordered two Stephen Brookfield books and I’ve written a single self-reflective journal entry since I returned to Ontario four days ago. But that’s about it. I’m starting to feel ashamed and angry, just like I do when I notice my favourite jeans are a little tighter or after scarfing down a chocolate bar that I really didn’t need. After all the excitement during the Foundations Institute, I started to wonder if I have the discipline needed to complete my Masters.
But then I think of myself at the age of 16, of that obese teenager who shed 60 pounds to become a skilled tennis player, windsurfer, marathon runner, and rock climber because he (I) really, really wanted it. When I remember the changes that I forced upon myself all those 26 years ago, I know that If I can do that, I can do this.
And so can you.
We really want this, right? We know we do. So let’s go get it. Let’s go get our Masters of Adult Education.
One hour, one day at a time.